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Thread: Interesting

  1. #1
    Matchlock
    Join Date
    Apr 02 2010
    Posts
    136

    Interesting

    ♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

    ♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

    ♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

    ♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

    ♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

    ♦ A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

    ♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

    ♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

    ♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

    ♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

    ♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

    ♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

    ♦ Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

    ♦ You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

    ♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

    ♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

    ♦ I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”

    ♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

    ♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

    ♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

    ♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

    ♦The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

    ♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

    ♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

    ♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
    Genius by birth, Slacker by choice.

  2. #2
    Mini Gun Hammer1270's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 13 2017
    Location
    13 13 Mokingbird Lane
    Posts
    1,062

    Re: Interesting

    That was GREAT!!
    You Can't Keep it Unless You Give it Away....

  3. #3
    Site Supporter
    Join Date
    Jul 03 2016
    Posts
    208

    Re: Interesting

    Quote Originally Posted by Hammer1270 View Post
    That was GREAT!!
    Agree!!!!

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